I don’t know when success stops being scary. Is it after the 10th time? The 20th? The 100th? I like to think I’ve had some great successes thus far in my writing career. I mean, I’m published. Like, in a real book. Actually, TWO real books, if you want to get technical. My work has featured on BlogHer several times. And now there’s this whole Listen to Your Mother thing, which….come on.
I was inspired to audition for Listen to Your Mother after reading about and watching Anna Donaldson‘s experience with the event last year. She wrote about living with the loss of her son, Jack, and watching her speak was so moving, so honest. I watched a few of the other readings in her show, and though my daughter was only a few months old at that time, I knew when it came around again, I wanted to be a part of it.
I drove 3 hours to and from my audition, and I’ll do the same for our group meet-ups, for rehearsals, and finally, for the show. It’s worth it to me. It’s worth it because I wanted this, because I’m so proud of it, because I’m so thrilled and absolutely in awe of the fact that its actually happening. But underneath all that, I still have a lot of fear and intimidation.
I’m me, so the first thing I did when the cast was announced was check out all of the other women in the show and notice their totally awe-inspiring lists of accomplishments–published books, editing jobs for large scale publications, multiple popular websites, successful businesses. And then I panicked a little bit because I’m 25. My resume is very thin, and half the time I have no idea what I’m doing. I look at things like my friends getting published in the New York Times, and I take a big gulp of air because, holy shit. I’m just me. And I’m young. And I’m inexperienced. And ohmygod what am I doing with my life?
But then I take another big gulp of air, and I realize that it’s okay because I’m here. I did this. I’m on this list with all of these incredible women, and yes, they’re terrifyingly accomplished, but I’M ON THE LIST WITH THEM. My name is there, too. I stuck myself out on a limb, and it paid off, and now it’s one amazing accomplishment that I get to add to my own list. And, yes, that list is small, but it’s my list. It’s a list that grows every day. And everyone who has ever gotten to where they are now had to start out where they were.
**If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, you still can. Also, since I know a lot of you don’t live in the Kansas City area, make sure to share this link with any moms, wives, friends, husbands, sisters, daughters, grandmothers, etc. you may have in the area. Makes a great Mother’s Day gift!